Be Civil, or Be Quiet

Truth is uncovered when we find common ground.

Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

Towards Dialogue

What I’ve really been doing all these years is dialoguing with myself, even before I knew that dialogue is a skill. Because winning is not the goal, and because I trust my own points to be made out of good faith with no hidden agendas, I can really get curious about what comes up and I am free to focus on insights rather than what is right or wrong.

Blame the Brain?

We can totally blame our brains. We can point to all the ways the brain is designed to categorize, look for the negative, act out of fear, confirm its biases, and prejudge people. But to blame the brain is to pass the buck. To blame the brain is to admit that you are willfully choosing to operate without employing the higher levels of awareness that you are blessed with as a human being.

Embracing Paradox

Carl Jung said “The paradox is one of our most valuable spiritual possessions…only the paradox comes anywhere near to comprehending the fullness of life.” Having healthy conflicts, and engaging in dialogue requires embracing paradox. Can you respect another, while deeply disagreeing with their views? Can you have compassion for someone who doesn’t have compassion for you? Can you seek to understand even when you feel misunderstood?

Know Civility, Know Peace

As much as I would like to stay away from conflict, I am strengthening my commitment to speak truth to bullshit, while being civil. These are the words of Brene Brown, from her book Braving the Wilderness and I believe they represent so accurately the aims of a peacekeeper like me who is really weary of witnessing all the unhealthy conflict in the world. The level of disrespect, lack of perspective-taking, and self-righteousness is enough to make a debate champion go offline.

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Curious and compassionate mind explorer, who is working to make wisdom cultivation the next big thing. www.wisdomcultivators.com

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Aimee O'Neil LMSW

Curious and compassionate mind explorer, who is working to make wisdom cultivation the next big thing. www.wisdomcultivators.com